Staying out there

I can't continue to celebrate my temporary retirement with a clear conscience unless I address some of the things I see happening around the country.

A gay-bashing raid in Fort Worth Texas! I wasn't ignoring it, I just wasn't terribly taken aback by it. It didn't surprise or shock me when I heard about what they did, and when they did it. We all know they were well damn aware what date it was, and they were sending a message that got through loud and clear. "We don't want you fags here." Hell, I knew that before the raid. I'm sure the fags with the audacity to have a bar with a rainbow sign out there in full public view is more than enough to rouse the ire of Texas rednecks by the dozen.

Scary bunch huh?

We are not loved by the redneck fag-hating populace, and we never will be. At least not in my lifetime. This should come as no surprise to anyone. The total lack of a response to this incident from Austin, from the White House, and from our arbiter of all things gay, the HRC, who can't even say out loud they're a gay organization, speak volumes.

We've been hung out to dry folks.


Should we expect that a President who would allow such an occurrence without at minimum a rebuke from the White House to jump at the chance to sigh the Matthew Shepard Act, or repeal DOMA, or push ENDA through congress?

No we shouldn't. And we'd be realistic to remember that too.

Sarah Palin. God am I really talking about HER?

We'd also be wise to remember that George W. Bush was only good at one thing, misdirection.

He could prestidigitate with the best of the old timey snake oil salesmen. He'd hold up his left hand and wave it around and tell us what wonderful things he was going to do for us. And all the while with the right he was fucking us with a limber prod. And we kept going back for more, like a little twink slut in heat.

She's up to something I guarantee you.

It might be a grab for money. She might be after that slice of the pie she's needing to pay all those legal fees she's incurred from being a manipulative power-abusing bitch. It might be that she is misguided enough to think that she wouldn't fracture the Republican party enough to get all her ultra-conservative neo-cons to run out and support her, splitting the party badly enough to render it ineffective for decades. Not necessarily a bad thing.

But I think the intention is quite a bit more nefarious in her case. She's not a good person folks, not a good one at all. I suggest she be observed very carefully from a distance.

I'm growing increasingly less fond of Americans. They're presumptuous, they're selfish, they're so self-involved they're entitlement is showing, and they take responsibility for nothing. In many ways I'm ashamed to be one of them.

And yes I'd leave if I could find a way to make it possible. But everyone else has made it so hard to become a citizen of their country that it's damn near impossible for a regular joe to get outta here.

So welcome to the first week post-4th of July. We're still in the same mess we were in last month, we just took a pause to celebrate the shambles we've made of what started out to be a really great idea.

Speaking of taking a pause to celebrate.



Love

Da Nile

In an effort to deny my true self I am attempting to ignore the problem this morning.

I could really, and quickly get used to this waking up in the morning and meditating and doing Yoga for an hour thing.

The anticipated stress level isn't materializing, and that's surprising me. Cause I'm naturally...um...shall we say...wound a little tight.

But yesterday after doing the yoga thing I went for a three hour bike ride and then sat at the wheel and made a few pots.

Who is this man doing all these things? I should be pacing the apartment inventing scenarios of gloom and doom in which I become homeless and other devastating things befall me. Then in the evenings I should be drinking or getting high etc.

But none of this is happening! WTF???

Perhaps too early in the scenario. Perhaps just too damn old to find the strength to visit Armageddon daily. Perhaps old enough to know that no matter what happens I'll make it work. I have sooo been here before.

I will say that this mornings meditation was made even nicer by the steady rain that's been falling for hours. That and the great cello music I found while ripping all my cd's to the external hard drive. (I'm getting so many little chores out of the way I've been wanting to do forever, it's great)

In a while I think I'll clean up and drive over to Wal-Mart (yes I'm a Wal-Mart shopper again) and do a stock up run. Paper towels, Detergent, bounce, crap like that, which I know I'll need no matter what. In an effort to stave off even more Armageddon scenarios.

I do have a play I need to read...well actually three, so that may occupy some time for the next few days.

If it clears off a little this afternoon I may go for a bike ride. The apartment needs cleaning...and there's no one left to do it but me...waaaaaah!

Middle class was fun.

And I suddenly realize how pathetic this is...I've been so narcissistic-ly self-involved (I wonder where I learned that?) that I forgot HGF until this very minute!

Let's have a few DADT images in honor of Independence Day, shall we?






Have a wonderful and safe holiday weekend.

Love

Zen and now

I'm trying to be very Zen about all this, and so far I'm finding that my schedule should be pretty full, at least for a while.

This morning I got up at the regular time, apparently a hard habit to break, and proceeded to meditate and do Yoga for almost an hour, I feel pretty fucking good right now.

Next I'm going to trim the pots I made yesterday and maybe make some more.

I've spoken with the retirement folks, the dentist, the doctor's office and the benefits folks at the school district. So I'll be getting things looked at and dealt with soon before the insurance runs out. Well, runs out isn't exactly correct, I'll COBRA the insurance, but I think it's a good idea to get checked out before I'm on my own financially.

But enough about me.

My stepsister's husband died Monday. Due to the fact that they only told my adoptive father we found out last night completely by accident. He dialed the wrong number when trying to tell my brother and then didn't bother to correct his error. He'd gotten my nephew's wife on the phone and when she told him of his mistake he hung up. She, assuming she was dealing with a normal person, figured he'd correct his mistake. Sticking with his life motto "What doesn't appear in the mirror does not matter." he did no more about it.

So today I have to find out if we've missed the funeral and if not send flowers etc. I'm not going, there'll be people there from my former family and this is not about them. But it will be if they see me. So I'll send flowers and let it go at that.

I was wondering last night what Michael Jackson must have thought of us. By that I mean, what did he think our lives were like? Gods know his was nowhere near what we would call normal, and I doubt he ever had any perception of what that really was. Sad really that we, as usual, took someone with so much talent and reduced them to a caricature. Yes, I know he was complicit, but we were largely responsible for it. He was marketed to us, but we bought it.

Oh, and there are even more revelations about his life. Not only were the children not actually his but...wait for it...he was gay.

Ya think?

THAT is about as newsworthy as the announcement a couple weeks ago that Adam Lambert was gay. I have to wonder how that worked out. I mean seriously who in the world could you find to fuck Michael Jackson who wouldn't have immediately tried to sell their book?

Ok, well back to Zen and me. I need to stay Zen because I just read that I'm unemployed during the highest unemployment rates in 26 years. Ain't I lucky?

How could I NOT post a picture of a guy who waxes a spot for his new tatoo. Reminds me of a picture I saw not long ago of a guy who has to shave his right arm pit because of his pirate tatoo. Go for it, I say!



Love

Done!!!

Well, it's finally over so perhaps I can stop blogging about that damn job. They were smart enough to make it as painless as possible. I went in, gave my boss keys and cards and we visited a few minutes and then I went to see if the posse was in the conference room...they were. I went in, they gave me my letter, I left. How smooth is that?

So I'm off to ride a horse for the rest of the morning, then I'm taking myself to my favorite steak house in the whole world for lunch. After that we'll see.

After all this fal-de-ral I'm taking sometime off. I need the rest, I need to get my head together, I need to formulate a plan, so I figure it's the best way to do it.

If my calculations are correct I can financially last til October without unemployment. With it I can probably last into the New Year. So WTF!

Alas, I may have to shorten that time line because I may have to go to Ireland and seek out this:


Love

Eventus stultorum magister

For reasons that faileth human understanding the people I work with are suddenly up in arms over my dismissal. Not that their ire will alter the outcome. Decisions have been made and this bunch isn't inclined to second-guess themselves.

So all this posturing and wailing and g-nashing of teeth my colleagues are doing today is for naught. And to tell the truth it's on my nerves a bit. Yes, it's flattering that they find my departure "devastating" and that their plans and wishes are being dashed, but this situation is what it is. In truth...I'm already gone.

So we have to have a little ghetto drama on my way out the door. And we KNOW how much I love drama.

I'll elaborate more later right now I gotta go somewhere...anywhere, but outta here for a while, until they all calm down.

ok, well it apparently occurred to my colleagues last night that my departure was imminent. This, along with the knowledge (usually sometime in mid-september) that school is in session, and that the budget is frozen (always in late may) seems to hvae made the list of annual surprises they come to be aware of all too late.

They mean well, they're a nice bunch of people for the most part, and they've certainly been good to me on more than one occasion.

However,

This last ditch effort to sway the opinion of those in power is simply a waste of time.

(they've all gone em masse (there are 4 of them)to the director and told him that my position should be changed to another classification so I can stay)

Um, folks!! There is no fucking money for that or anything else! Who else would you see go in my stead? Seriously, if the powers were to even consider your request, then someone else HAS to go.

I think it's flattering, I think it's very commendable of them, and most of all I wish they'd asked me before proceeding.

I left! I left last week. I'm still sitting here in my office blogging as I do almost every day, but I am NOT HERE!!!!

And BTW I sooo wish they'd stop dissolving into tears when I say goodbye to them. It's getting embarrassing.

C'est la vie is the phrase for the day. Let's all pack up our tools and baggage and stuff and go home now. It was fun for while, but it's done.

Let's look at some hot guys a while instead.

Here's a morsel to consider:


Love

(title="Events are the teachers of fools.")